The Other Reason To Correctly Name Body Parts

By now I’m sure you’ve read about the big reason why the experts say parents should be teaching their children the correct names for all their body parts. Yes, that includes the male and female genitals. According to those experts, using the correct terminology to name body parts is a big part in preventing abuse. That’s not what I want to talk about here. Instead, what I want to address is the other reason we have taught our children the correct names for their body parts, and since I’m the only female in the house, the correct names for my body parts too. It’s something that we’ve been doing pretty well since The Heir was born. Here’s why.

It was easy enough to start. I often found myself narrating my day to The Heir when he was just a baby. Changing his diaper was one of the times when the word “penis” was introduced. Bath time? Same deal. Eventually, he started pointing at me and saying “penis”, which naturally led to the introduction of the word “vagina”. Now that Petit Prince is here, we’re naming body parts for him all over again. As The Heir gets older, he’s beginning to ask more questions related to his body and my body, and I am more than happy to jump down that rabbit hole of questions and answer them using the correct terminology for every part. Case in point, just the other day his questioning led to a discussion of how both males and females have a urethra, and where on the body that urethra is located. Despite being the mother of boys, I still feel strongly about using the correct terminology when we talk about the female body.

Over the years I’ve heard so many different words used to describe a vagina. So. Many. Words. There is one word that springs to mind when I think of all those other words for the female anatomy: SHAME. Almost without fail, the words used in place of the word vagina are all about shame. Maybe the word used comes from a place of being ashamed or embarrassed, or maybe it is used in order to shame someone else, either way, I’m not having it. I don’t want my sons growing up thinking it’s okay to refer to a woman’s vagina as a hoo-ha, a monkey, a yoohoo, a teetee, lady bits, a front bum, or turkey guts. Yes, you read that right: turkey guts. Just let that one sink in for a moment. Not only does it sound gross, but it completely detaches a woman’s genitals from her as a person. Now a woman’s vagina is no longer a part of her, it’s just something to be ridiculed, something to be ashamed of, something to be tossed aside. From there, it’s not a huge leap to see the whole person in the same light. As a woman, as a mother, and especially as the mother of boys, this is beyond unacceptable to me.

That’s the other reason I insist on teaching my boys the correct terminology for the female body. It’s a matter of respect. As a mom of two young boys who will eventually grow up to be men, it is important to me that my sons are raised to respect the bodies of others. It’s important to me that they recognize that the person behind those body parts is a human being. Having two boys does not let me off the hook when it comes to conversations about female bodies. I will not bring them up in a home where the female body is a source of ridicule. I will not sit back while they joke about the female body and shrug it off as just boys being boys. That’s no excuse. I can’t expect my sons to learn respect for a woman’s body or to understand consent and body autonomy if I can’t even say the word vagina without hesitation. So we use the correct terminology here, and we answer their questions honestly.

I don’t think it’s ever too early to introduce the correct words for all the parts of the male and female body. Teaching your child the accurate terminology for their own body encourages them to have respect for themselves. It discourages shaming and ridicule. It promotes honesty in the conversations children have with their parents. I can only hope that being honest with my sons about their own bodies and my body now will help to establish open and honest lines of communication that will last into the future. I never want my sons to dehumanize another person with their words. I never want my sons to think that women are somehow dispensable, or that a woman’s body is something to be conquered or taken. And that is why we use the correct terminology. I am their mother, I am responsible for teaching them to respect others, and that is something I don’t take lightly.